The Dilemma of the Dom Identity


In the political culture of the U.S. today, many people promote their sexual identity in public and at their work. If you are biologically a male, but identify as a woman, you can wear makeup, dress in whatever clothing you feel comfortable with and demand to use the bathroom of your choosing. People participate in marches for the LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Intersex, Asexual) community, being passionately proud of their sexual identity.

And they should. Humans are sexual beings. Our American society is literally based on the freedom of expression. In fact, our country is one of the few places on the planet where your sexual expression is a legally protected right.

However, if you identify as a white, CIS-Male who is dominant, that is frowned upon. Many members of the community that has demanded their identities be finally accepted by society also look at the Dom CIS-male as unacceptable. On more than one occasion I have been told, “check your privilege.” It was amusing. I would smile, nod and tell them I’d get right on it. Seeing their aggression was met so nonchalantly would even further trigger some. If appeared as if those who felt that I was not sufficiently intimidated or even, at the least, offended by their statement wanted to escalate the encounter. But I’m very much a “to each their own” type of person when it comes to the beliefs of others. Think and believe however you want. If you can’t offer me the same tolerance, that’s still on you and has nothing to do with me.

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