The Three C’s of Ethical Sadism


Consent. This is not as simple as her saying, “yes.” True consent means she has both a clear knowledge of what she is agreeing to as well as a desire for you to give her that experience.  Before you scene with anyone, you must know what methods you intend to employ and what her comfort level is with them. For example, just because a woman enjoys bare handed spanking, it doesn’t automatically mean she is comfortable with a flogger or a crop. Some women enjoy knife play, many do not. Also, just because you are aware that she has been bound and flogged before, doesn’t mean she is comfortable receiving this from you. If you going to scene with a person for the first time, it is your absolute responsibility to discover all of these things and make sure she knows and consents to all possible tools you will employ.

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An Often Overlooked Responsibility


A sadist’s bond with a masochist is truly an empathetic one. Our pleasure comes from taking her to a place of bliss through pain. That can be done physically or emotionally. I know many who are numb emotionally, and sometimes it takes pain to break through that callous, so that other emotions can be experienced again as well.

Most everyone is aware of the responsibility of making sure not to go “too far” when doing damage to the body and mind. Most everyone is aware of the responsibility of aftercare, bringing her safely back from the space you took her. But one duty that is often overlooked is selecting who to play with in the first place.

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