Often people see the D/s relationship as being all about sex, dominance and submission (and likely some amounts of bondage and S&M sprinkled in with it). Yes, those are certainly defining aspects that set this type of relationship apart from others, but do not forget that it is still a relationship.
There are certain traits in common with almost all long term, love & sex relationships. The most important of these is romance. Many men wince at the word and unfortunately some Doms feel their role excludes them from this requirement. However, a quality Dom must take care to keep romance as a central feature. In fact, it should be held above all other facets of the relationship.
Why? Because the sub’s desire to serve is tied directly to this. It is in the same vein as the prince who rescues the maiden. It is the fairy-tale story re-written for adults with a kinky twist.
Giving your sub romance in no way means you have to stop being a Dom. You simply have to understand what romance is. Bringing home roses, making dinner or preparing her a bath are probably some examples of what most men think is romantic. Those things are romantic, but that’s just one angle. Romance is mystery. Romance is excitement. Romance is doing something that is out of the ordinary, a break from the daily routine we eventually settle into.
Send her a text message while you are at work. Tell her tonight, to be in a specific place in the house at a specific time. Have her wait for you kneeling and to be wearing a specific outfit. Control her in a manner she is not expecting. She won’t know what your plans are, and it will drive her wild with anticipation.
Or call her up and tell her you want to meet for drinks downtown. Have her wait for you at the bar. Tell her when you arrive, she is to pretend she doesn’t know you. Introduce yourself, buy her a drink and seduce her.
You can romance her by being Dominant and sexual. It doesn’t have to be something you think is a chore and it doesn’t have to be an action that is outside your selected role. It just has to be exciting and unexpected.