Her First Collar

img-thingThe most significant and outward symbol of a D/s relationship is the collar. It is her constant reminder of her devotion to you and your ownership of her. It displays this to everyone who sees it. Some will understand and be happy for her, others will consider her some sort of sexual deviant and others may pity her because they assume she is either a victim or has very low self-esteem. The humiliation that she may endure from strangers causes her to tingle. It makes her wet. It strengthens her. Despite what the ill-informed may believe, only the most confident and joy-filled woman can proudly wear a slave collar. This is a symbol far more cherished than any other item she will ever wear.

In opposition to the culture of wedding rings, her first collar should not be some expensive accessory you order from Amazon online or some Fetish website. This is something you must personalize as much as possible. You must hand select the material. Will it be leather? Metal? A chain? Lace? Cord? Rubber? What color will it be? What adornments will it have? The design of the first collar should have some significance that you can explain to her. Why did you make the choices you did?

Once you have a design in mind, you must either create it or have it fashioned. Obviously not everyone is a craftsman. Depending on your vision, you could go to a local craft shop and find leather strips, various jewelry clasps, tools and charms. Where I live, the Michael’s store has everything a creative Dom on a budget needs to design and assemble a first collar. This will not be her only collar. It will likely not be her fanciest or most expensive. But it will be her first and the one she will always remember.

The way you present it to her should be simple, reverent, private. Even if you are not one for strict formalities, treat this moment with more forethought than anything else you do. It is imperative that she can see how important this is to you. This collar will be her strength in hard times. I’m not going to pretend that every D/s relationship is smooth. I think they are more stable than vanilla relationships, but everyone has conflicts. Everyone has times where they question their decisions. The conviction and strength you put into her collar is a steady reference point for her to find anchor.

Above all gifts she will ever grant you, her submission is, without doubt, the most personal. It comes from a place of absolute trust, love and devotion to you. The collar you give her is your outward recognition of this, and knowing it was made specifically for her by you or by your own direction will touch her deeply.

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