A sadist’s bond with a masochist is truly an empathetic one. Our pleasure comes from taking her to a place of bliss through pain. That can be done physically or emotionally. I know many who are numb emotionally, and sometimes it takes pain to break through that callous, so that other emotions can be experienced again as well.
Most everyone is aware of the responsibility of making sure not to go “too far” when doing damage to the body and mind. Most everyone is aware of the responsibility of aftercare, bringing her safely back from the space you took her. But one duty that is often overlooked is selecting who to play with in the first place.
The BDSM scene has a wide variety of people with an equally varied degree of perceptions about how these unique types of relationships play out. Most commonly, when a relationship goes bad, a submissive suffers at the hands of an out-of-control Dom or sadist.
So there are a lot of damaged women out there. Women who are fragile, who don’t yet have the strength or tools to work through where they’ve been left. Like an injured animal, they seek the comfort of the familiar. That familiarity is commonly back down the road from which they came.
As a Dom or sadist, we must be acutely aware of where our potential playmate is at emotionally. There are a lot of women who are looking to experience our particular “talents”. But unlike vanilla dating, if a woman has confidence issues, or emotional wounds that have yet to be healed, we stand a greater chance of hurting them more than helping them.
When choosing a submissive or masochist, it is our responsibility to them to be absolutely sure they are emotionally stable and strong. We should always take extra care in assessing where they’ve been and what experiences have led them to us. I’m not saying to avoid them if they’re damaged or fragile. But don’t move as quickly. They will be consensual and even desire to offer their submission to you.
You must have the strength and discretion of knowing when to accept it.